Reconnecting

I must confess - I am not especially good at keeping in touch with people.  I don't really know why, but it's something that has always been the case since I was a little school girl running around the playground in pig-tails and embroidered jeans.  It's not that I don't think about friends or acquaintances that I no longer see on a frequent basis; I do.  I'll have someone stuck in my thoughts for days on end but somehow my fingers never make it to the keyboard or the phone and I'm not proud of that.  I want to make more of an effort to stay in contact with people I know, even if that is just coffee or emails every once in a while.

I should mention that my view of friendship is rather, um, philosophical I guess.  I don't think that it is necessary, or healthy even, to try to hold onto all out relationships from the past, or expect the dynamics of those relationships to stay constant as time passes.  People change, it's a simple fact.  We grow up, life takes us in different directions, we evolve.  I don't want to stay stagnant as a person so I can't expect that from my relationships either.  Sure moving on can be bittersweet, but some people aren't meant to stay in our lives forever - they are there when we need them most, a comrade to stand with you in the war zone also known as a high school hallway, a friendly co-worker to liven up your shifts a work, a mentor to help guide you through stormy times.  They lend us support, encouragement, a listening ear and a friendly smile, and we are able to learn from them, to take something away that will help us with our personal growth.  

So I don't mind when the person who shared all my embarrassing teen obsessions, my ever eager partner at midnight releases and endless lineups becomes an occasional coffee buddy.  We were brought together by passing interests and I will always remember those times with a smile and a slight grimace at my girlish folly, but in truth we are extraordinarily different people and there isn't much to hold us together anymore.  I like her as a person, and I'm glad that we still see each other but I'm okay with letting go of the old framework of our friendship.

Even though things change, it can still be wonderful to catch up with people from the past, to see where their paths have taken them, reminisce, offer congratulations for personal accomplishments and encouragement for future endeavors.  A friend that I haven't really seen for a couple of years got engaged last week and that prompted another friend to attempt to round up a group of us that had all graduated together.  Ironically, the newly engaged individual was unable to make the impromptu gathering, as well as others who have moved to far away to meet up on short notice, but a few of us did manage to get together today and I have to say it was quite lovely.  Rushing up to each other with familiar greetings and excited exclamations as we all arrived seem like deja-vu, but there were subtle changes and an added maturity to these girls, or women I suppose I should say, whom I used to see on a nearly daily basis.  We chatted and laughed, filling the others in on our new lives and I was filled with "warm fuzzies".  It was so heartwarming to know that we all still care about each other enough to make the effort to reconnect, to know that the people I care about are healthy and doing well in their lives, and that bonds we once shared were still there, waiting to be resurfaced even if they had undergone some changes. 

Even though we probably won't see each other for long months until the next big event or nostalgic whim, it was still a fabulous day and when we went our separate ways we were all sporting glowing smiles and filled with happy memories.  I realized that if everyone in our group was as bad at keeping in touch as I am, this would have never happened, so I'm determined to up the ante in the future.

Who do you want do reconnect with?  I think it's worth a try...

Love,

- H

P.S.  I pride myself on having a song for every situation, but I had a really hard time coming up with one for this.  I tried googling it and wound up with a bunch of pretty cheesy graduation songs.  Then I remembered this, I think it is the closest I can find to convey how I feel.  What song would you choose?